Sukkot -- The Year After

I tried this year, I really
tried.
I donned festive wear,
Sat with the blessings 
In the booth
Invited honored guests,
Praised God, drank wine,
Broke bread.
Ate my share to satiation.

The following day, sang Hallelujah,
Waved palm frond myrtle willow
hand-bound with the citron
Walk in sacred procession.
The words issued,
But my heart was elsewhere.
And broken
In this moment commanded as
Z’man simchatanu:
The time of our joy.

Hoshia na — save us.
Again and again as we paraded.
Hoshia na — save us.
Lulav and etrog in hand.
Hoshia na.

I had put on my happy face:
After all: z’man simchatanu.
The face was easier to remove
Than to mount.

Hoshiana na rang in my breast.
Here.
There.
Across all the centuries.
Hoshia na.
I tried to foist on my shoulders
Joy.
I carried sorrow.
And fear.  And anxiety.
And a dread that 
The safe past is now
Passed.

Hoshia na, Lord,
Hoshia na.
Our Jewish past
has resurfaced.
Hoshia na.