That Morning's Drive -- February 14, 1991

A Somber Recollection

That morning my father and cousin Mike
Picked me up, and drove me out.
Although long anticipated, I was not prepared
To navigate my city’s streets and freeways
Mid morning to that appointment.

A family friend managed the cemetery
But, as nice as he was, it was still, in a 
Necessary manner, business, and he assigned
Us someone we did not know, I assume now
In many year retrospect, such was common

Practice.  He showed us into the parlor
After the basic paper work was done,
The plot purchased, the ceremony time
And venue arranged, to inspect the
Coffin in which they would lay my

Daughter.  A parlor full of elaborate ones, 
Richly stained woods, luxury cloth.  
I was surprised, as the tradition
Dictates a simple box, pine and plain, and minimal
Extraneous wrappings.  We had spoken briefly of it;
My wife left that decision to my discretion.

A plain pine box, pieced together with dowels;
As best as I remember, decades now, simple cotton
Lining.  Not quite the smallest one; but the right size
For my little one.  I filled out more paperwork,
Aware of the requirements—a shomer to recite

Psalms; the other preparations as required by
By tradition and law.  I had brought along clothes,
And her blankie — we had torn off a corner, but along
The years it has since disappeared.  I delivered this
Into their hands. Our family friend re-appeared to

Offer condolences to me and my father — he
Did not know my cousin — and we left.  They 
Published the obit the next day; and my synagogue 
Notified the members; and the family around notified
The family at large and our friends and her school

And the limo picked us up the next day, and it was
A long drive there, and a long drive back, although
It did not take that much time, as best as I recall,
For my recall is hazy, as my vision was then.
And the ceremony was held, and we came home

And we sat shiva, and people came by, and we ate something,
I think,
And we sat shiva, rising in the morning to pray
And sitting numbed until evening.  And shiva ended.
I think.  I’m still not sure.  But this was decades ago.